Moan for me like Helen Keller
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
