Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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