dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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