You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
