Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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