stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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