capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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