doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
babies were throwing up all over the place
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
