Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
All the doctor said was why
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
