were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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