I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
