omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
