Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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