the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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