she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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