how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
