I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
