I'm sorry my penis didn't work
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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