school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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