Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
