She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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