How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
