my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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