you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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