it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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