i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
