That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
