pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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