Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
