we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My bed smells like the plague
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
