1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
