Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
