May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
