and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Then you guys just all showered together...?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
