i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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