I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
