Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
