I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
