how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
