My nipple is on Facebook.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
