I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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