I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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