If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
