I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
