i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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