i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Someone came in the potted fern
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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