Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
