It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
