Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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