well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
