How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
