New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
